Virginia Matthews, 94, a Salado resident for years, now lives at AlzCare, an assisted living facility in Temple for Alzheimer’s patients.
Mrs. Matthews has good days, but then there are times when the only thing she wants is to go home, said her daughter Karen Kinnison.
“That’s hard and it hurts,” she said of watching her mother decline.
Mrs. Matthews also has two sons, Bill Kinnison of Salado and Ken Kinnison of San Antonio. She has six grandchildren and three great-grandchildren.
Last week, Mrs. Matthews was happy to discuss her life in Salado, and while she had lapses and repeated phrases, she was upbeat and talkative.
Mrs. Matthews was married to a military man, Paul Kinnison, and raised her family all over the world. When Kinnison retired, they settled in Salado where they opened Paul and Virginia Antiques and Art in 1963.
“We did enjoy it,” Mrs. Matthews said. “It’s been so interesting and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
When her husband died, Mrs. Matthews and some other Salado ladies opened the Women’s Exchange.
Every Friday the Exchange had a bake sale with the baked goods furnished by the members, said Ms. Kinnison.
“There would be a line of people waiting at the door when the Exchange opened,” Ms. Kinnison said.
Mrs. Matthews eventually re-married to George Matthews, a Methodist pastor. They were together for 27 years.
When asked what she liked the most about Salado, Mrs. Matthews mentioned her house, especially the porch.
When she visits Salado, Mrs. Matthews still enjoys sitting on the porch and waving to people as they walk by, said Ms. Kinnison.
Ms. Kinnison said some of her fondest memories of growing up were of the different countries the family lived in.
During the family’s travels, Mrs. Matthews, an artist since high school, painted whatever caught her fancy - castles, landscapes, farmers’ markets. She then took up needlepoint.
Mrs. Matthews asked whether she was doing any different crafts now and was reminded that she’s seldom without a skein of yarn.
“You go to town around here crocheting,” said Deanna Lueckenotte, community relations manager of AlzCare.
“Oh, really,” Mrs. Matthews said.
Ms. Kinnison said she has an afghan her mother made for her that is neither square, round, rectangular nor oval.
“It free form and it’s all different colors and textures,” she said. “It’s unbelievable . . . you’re lucky if you have one of those.”
Ms. Kinnison said the trips she, her mother and grandmother made to downtown Temple to shop at Dyer’s Department Store were special.
“We would always eat at the hotel . . . that was a fantastic day,” she said. “We’ve always been close . . . we were friends.”
Mrs. Matthews kept journals for years and it was through those journals her family became aware there was a problem.
Around 2000, Ms. Kinnison said her mother’s writing became less legible and the sentences didn’t make sense.
Ms. Kinnison said her mother began to ask more questions and while in their shop Mrs. Matthews could no longer remember how to make change or how to open up the cash register.
“George took care of her and she went with him everywhere,” Ms. Kinnison said.
Matthews died in December 2006 and Ms. Kinnison moved in with her mother and lived with her for about a year.
“I’d like to do that right now . . . mother wants to be at home,” she said.
While the task of taking care of her mother was doable physically, the emotional toll was too much.
“It’s the same questions, it’s the same rut, it’s draining,” she said.
One of the reasons Ms. Kinnison decided to have her mother live at AlzCare Assisted Living in Temple was the exposure she would have to other people and activities.
There are no simple answers for dealing with a parent with Alzheimer’s because everybody’s circumstances are different, Ms. Kinnison said.
While the fact that her mother is in a safe place is a comfort, Ms. Kinnison said she always feels guilty when she leaves after visiting because she knows her mother wants to go with her.
Ms. Kinnison said she had little knowledge of Alzheimer’s before her mother began showing signs of dementia.
Alzheimer’s is an equal opportunity affliction, sparing no segment of society.
“A lot of times I’ll just sit there and look at mother and I’ll remember all of the good things we did - I am so blessed with that,” she said. “But then I know there will be a time when it’s over.”
Ms. Kinnison, like others, struggles with the knowledge there’s no hope for improvement and it might be better when it all ends.
“Does that make me a bad person,” she asked. “I liked mother when mother was mother.”
Ms. Kinnison said prayer has given her strength.
“Mother is doing fine and God is with us,” she said. “Sometimes I can’t talk to mother so I’ll talk to God and we can make it, but it’s tough.”
Mrs. Matthews went to Salado on Saturday and was with her family to celebrate Mother’s Day and her birthday, which was Friday.
“I’ll bring her back to Temple on Sunday (today) and it will be real hard,” Ms. Kinnison said.
