Many caregivers feel guilty when placing a family member in a nursing home or assisted living facility, said Dr. Alan Stevens, director of aging and care research at Scott & White Memorial Hospital. Stevens also holds the Vernon D. Holleman-Lewis M. Rampy Centennial Chair in Gerontology.
“They feel like in some way they are failing their loved one because they can’t take care of them,” Stevens said.
However, it’s often clear that placement in a facility outside the home is beneficial, because it offers interaction with other individuals, he said.
There can also be pressure from family members who are not aware of the strain the caregiver feels when attempting to fulfill the needs of the patient, Stevens said.
With Alzheimer’s or dementia there is anticipatory grief as the disease progresses, he said. It tends to be harder for spouses than on adult children.
“When you see your life partner slowly slipping away it is devastating,” he said. “It leads to symptoms of depression, anxiety and anger - all absolutely normal and appropriate feelings that caregivers have to work through.”
Stevens said it is recommended that caregivers seek support during that time. Providing care for a dementia patient can be overwhelming, so it’s vital to build a support system that can offer relief to the caregiver.
“It’s unreasonable to think that one person can do it all for long periods of time,” Stevens said.
It’s critically important that people begin to plan for long-term care well before it’s needed, he said. Options counseling, available through the Area Agency on Aging of Central Texas, can be a huge help in making those plans.
Once a person is in the care-giving role it’s important to look for support options, Stevens said.
Scott & White has a program, The Aging and Care Family Resource Center, that can assist caregivers.
The program is free and funded by Johnson & Johnson and the Rosalyn Carter Institute. It can help people determine what their stresses and burdens are, and then provide some supported interventions.
The Aging and Care Family Resource Center can be reached by calling (254) 215-0457.
