Dear Annie: After four years of a long-distance relationship, my fiancé just moved from his home state to mine. He retired, and although he is financially stable, we still have to stay on a budget to be able to afford our living expenses, future travel and entertainment. We budget how often we can go out to dinner each week. We even budget our drinks.
Because I have lots of single girlfriends who love him and are excited for me, every time we go out to meet them for a drink or meal, they don’t budge on getting their wallets out when the bill comes, and my fiancé feels obligated to get the whole bill so as not to look cheap. However, we are now in a position of having to go out less frequently or lower the quality of restaurants we go to.
Do I need to stop seeing my girlfriends or just meet them alone, where we can split the bill like we used to before he moved here? I just don’t know how to not sound cheap but make sure he isn’t always stuck with the bill.
— Frustrated at the Single Gals
Dear Frustrated: Congrats on this new chapter of your love. If your friends love him that much, why are they treating him like a sugar daddy? I understand if he wants to be generous and pick up the bill a few times, but it is sort of rude of your friends to not even budge on getting out their wallets. Regardless of gender, no one likes to give when they feel the party they are giving to expects it and doesn’t appreciate it.
Perhaps you should just stick to girls’ night out and go back to splitting the bill. If you want your friends to get to know your boyfriend more, maybe have them over to the house, or wait until they find their own boyfriends and double date.
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